Ask yourself these questions (from Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg):
- What just happened? (Observing for clarity)
- What are the feelings arising in me? (Taking responsibility for emotions without slipping into victimization)
- What do I need that I'm not receiving? (Identifying your own needs rather than assuming others automatically know what you require)
- What am I asking for? (Specifically formulate a request)
If a person is unwilling to help you meet your needs and falls into the category of a difficult person, how do you deal with them?
We all have our own definition of a “difficult” person, but here are some key characteristics.
- Often unsatisfied
- Don't communicate easily with others
- Can be argumentative and unreasonable
- Often use their power to obstruct
A couple of things to remember:
- No one is the villain in their own story. Few are deliberately trying to be the bad guy.
- Everyone is making the choices that seem best to them at that moment.
Jesus spoke in the Sermon on the Mount about ways to deal with difficult people: